Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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