The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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