Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
