Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
