I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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