The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
