Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
