I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
