Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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