I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
