Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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