You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
