i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
