I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize