So drunk its hurt
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
