i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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