Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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