So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
