If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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