I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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