I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
