i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
