The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
