We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
