She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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