You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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