remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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