: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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