He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
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if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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