the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize