Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
