all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
