I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
