thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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