I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
