when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
