I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my sisters under your porch take her home
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
