Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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