Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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