I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
