we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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