Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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