come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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