But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
