Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni