Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
