what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
this hospital has no fireball
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
