i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to make out with him forever
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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