No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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