You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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