i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
do herpes really smell.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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