Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
