They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize