Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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