hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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